This battle is too tiring, too hard, and too painful for me to get through with my level, my capacity, my capability. Everything that I do now that’s because I have no other choice. I have to eat, sleep, smile, and gather myself, even when I don’t want to do so. I need to push myself, use every last of the strength to keep moving forward and to face another battle.
This is too much.
My parents are the only reason for me to keep holding on, to keep fighting this battle. But at the time like this… I can’t even looking at my father’s eyes, I can’t even talk or share anything to my mom. It’s too painful imagining that I might fail them (for the umpteenth time).
The hardest part of choosing to be strong is keeping the spirit to stay strong. “The most important thing is how to dance in the storm.”