just in case..

If you’re following me on instagram, you might have a little de javu of the latest blog I posted here, because I was just re-writing it. And if you’re wondering what is going on in my life that caused me posting random things like that, let me tell you that it’s not about my relationship AT ALL.

I was, one night, scrolling the instagram feeds until the end of the posts and was intrigued to open the comment section of that particular post (which I forgot what it was about, bad memory, sorry). And I was shocked that the comments were very rude and full of negativity and hate. God, what’s wrong with them!?

And that’s where the posts came from, just in case you were all wondering. Because people nowadays are tend to tie everything up (statuses, captions, instagram posts or deleted photos, etc) with the love life of that particular person. So, please don’t because it’s not. (LOL it’ll be funny if this post gives you the idea to think that way).

I just can’t follow their logic, don’t even know if they have a heart or not. How can people falling asleep at night, peacefully, after they threw some rude words to the other people? Have they ever thought if their words could hurt somebody’s feeling and maybe that particular person can not sleep for weeks or even months just thinking about the rude words? Do they realise that even one word can really effect somebody’s health or even life?

Well, this post is just for those who might have thought that all of my posts were related to my love life. The answer is no. I don’t want anyone to think that my bestfriends or even my boyfriend did something terrible that harmed me. And I didn’t post those things to expose anybody or to name drop anyone. I was just very sad that people nowadays are so rude yet can be very calm about it. And fyi, I’ll post and blog and snapchat anything and it depends on my moods and the occasions, and my life is not only about my love life. So… this post is only for ‘just in case’.

Thank you and be kind always. xoxo

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I’m Tired

I woke up tired today, I don’t know why. I’m so exhausted. Those thoughts of fears of the uncertain things consume me like crazy. I know I have to wait for a month for it, but it has already got me, it ruins my mood day by day.

The only thing I can do to save my life is by going outside and meet people and stay surrounded by positive vibes. I’m so tired of waiting and this is painful.

Walk if You can’t Talk

How could somebody says ugly things and go to bed peacefully at night? Keyboard nowadays are soft but what comes from it are so much harder than what the old keyboards do. It’s touchscreen, but it touches somebody’s heart too. It could cause a serious damage to somebody’s life. If you can’t say nice things, just keep it for yourself. If you don’t like a situation or anything but you can’t give any suggestions or solutions about it, just leave it as it is, let it be, and walk away.

And by the way, doing or saying rude things won’t bring anything good in return. Ever.

Have you ever felt that the world runs better without you? And your circles are having a great time whenever you’re not around? And your workplace right now is not where you belong? And everything would’ve stayed in place if you’ve never been born in the first place?

This battle is too tiring, too hard, and too painful for me to get through with my level, my capacity, my capability. Everything that I do now that’s because I have no other choice. I have to eat, sleep, smile, and gather myself, even when I don’t want to do so. I need to push myself, use every last of the strength to keep moving forward and to face another battle.

This is too much.

My parents are the only reason for me to keep holding on, to keep fighting this battle. But at the time like this… I can’t even looking at my father’s eyes, I can’t even talk or share anything to my mom. It’s too painful imagining that I might fail them (for the umpteenth time).

The hardest part of choosing to be strong is keeping the spirit to stay strong. “The most important thing is how to dance in the storm.”