I’m so lucky!

Minggu lalu selama satu minggu, aku menjalani hidup yang mengingatkan aku sama diriku di waktu SMA yang sibuk, super sibuk yang bahkan saking sibuknya nafas aja ngga sempet. Aktivitas yang padet mulai dari pagi menjalani hidup sebagai koas di RSJ Grhasia, siang udah di SMA untuk keperluan TONTI, baru sejam di sana udah pindah ke TBY untuk latihan nari, sejam di TBY udah pindah ke SMA lagi sampai maghrib. Selesai urusan di SMA terus dinner sama Mas Yudha, sampai rumah garap tugas koas untuk paginya. Atau habis dari SMA langsung nongkrong di rumah Mas Didik Ninik Thowok buat latihan teater untuk pentas. Atau baru sampai rumah udah diminta nemenin Mami untuk cari pernak-pernik. I did that on repeat last week (the whole week). Waktu di SMA bahkan lebih parah, dalam sehari bisa dateng ke 5 rapat sekaligus dengan di sela-selanya masih bisa nongkrong sama temen-temen atau ikut latihan TONTI dan turun paket (hukuman dari kakak kelas karena terlalu sering izin haha!) atau ujian susulan karena terlalu sering cabut dari kelas, atau nyambut tamu dari mana, atau ngurusin hal lain.

It was so tiring yet so exciting. I love the adrenaline rush, it keeps me focused, yet it reduces my life by 10 years (lol, because I need to rush everything, even with the people I am dealing with at that time). And the newest fact I found by my activities last week was I feel my life in the right track when I have so many things to do. It gives me the impression that I need to keep my mind busy and I need to do something about the ideas that spinning in my head impulsively. It makes me feel useful and worth to live a little longer (lol what).

And with this post I want to thank my Mas Yudha for giving me the full support of what I’m doing. He gave me the trust and the space to finish what I started. And I’m so proud of him, of his maturity, of his acceptance about the situation between us. He understands that I have to “move” to prevent myself from the “self destruction” (if you know what I mean). The best part of all was I have the full permission to do what I love and to love what I do.

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I’ve never been happier than this stage of life. I’ve never been so sure about what I’m doing. And I feel like I’m in love with the same person again and again and again. Makasih ya, Mas Yudha :’)

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