Manners

*coughed*
*bought a cold soda*
*coughed*
*took a sip of it*
*coughed again*

Papi: Kamu batuk dek?
Me: Lumayan *coughed again*
Mami: Titin sukanya ngeyel sih. Tau lagi batuk malah belinya es. Pagi-pagi udah minum es.
Me: Kalau ngga pakai es tu rasanya kaya ngga minum je. *coughed*

*Papi took my soda, drank it all till the last drop*

Mami: Tuh diminum semua sama Papi biar ngga diminum kamu.

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Papi is the sweetest man on earth I’ve ever known. He knows me so well. He understands my mood swing and never complains about it. He knows that I have one or two days off because of my dysmenorrhea and he always restock my meds. He forbids anyone at home who tries to wake me up on Sunday morning. He knows exactly how to handle me. And he understands how to treat me as a girl.

This morning, me and mom had a conversation about men. She told me that a man, should’ve known how to treat other woman, like my father. Because it’s a basic manners that everyone knows. And you can call someone as “a man” is not by his gender written on his ID card, but by his behavior, his knowledge of basic manners, and his gesture of treating other people, respecting other people, especially a woman.

Manners maketh man. – Kingsman-The Secret Service, 2015

“Kalau cari pasangan itu yang kaya Papi.” My mom said,

“Yang sayang sama kamu, yang selalu khawatir sama kamu, yang mikirin kamu. Jangan mau sama yang ganteng mukanya, pinter sekolahnya, kaya raya tapi manners aja ngga punya. Dari temenan kaya gini kan kamu udah bisa menilai, laki-laki mana yang bisa memperlakukan kamu dengan cara yang bener. Meskipun dia tau kamu itu mandiri, seharusnya ya dia tetep tau diri, semisal malam-malam kamu janjian pergi, ya kamu ngga boleh berangkat atau pulang sendiri. Terlepas dia lagi ndeketin kamu atau ngga lho, kan tetep aja dia laki-laki dan kamu perempuan.”

I kept silent, processing.

A lecture from my mom this morning makes me understand how manners really important in this life. And with so many of my friends getting married this year or next year is making me freaked out. Where do I find a man with manners? Or at least a man like my father? Well, only God knows.

2 thoughts on “Manners

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