Hello, 2015!

New Year, New Hope, New Chances!Screenshot_2015-01-01-20-07-54-1

People are hoping on something good or even better in the beginning of the year. They pray for changes, brighter year, lucks, and bigger achievements on the year ahead. Speaking of achievements, I wanted to share two of my biggest achievements of the year. Since people have their own goals and vision and idealism and way of life, maybe these achievements below are not a big deal for you, but they’re pretty much special for me. Well..

**

Two thousand and fourteen had been a very tough year and full of struggle and tears, and so many dramas, yet it was full of love. And yes, love is the highlight of the year. Not that I’m in love or found a new boyfriend that year, but love in general; love to the God, to best friends and family and things.

I was celebrating New Year’s Eve of 2014 in the hospital with my father, while studying for block 3.3 final examination. To be honest, in the beginning of the 2014, I didn’t pray anything  but my father’s health and mother’s patience and my strength. Because the end of 2013 until the beginning of 2014 was the hardest part of my life, that my father got cancer.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. – anonymous.

In the middle of “the storm”, I was so tired and started to questioning why. But then I got tired even more.

I keep asking why. But the answer is to accept and to enjoy every moment. Life is unfair, but God is. – agusttitin, 2013

And I got this really great and deep quote from my cousin,

Everything will be just fine, the most important thing is how to dance in the storm. – Mita, 2013

And that what makes me keep moving on. There were some moments that I really wanted to cry, but this kind of midset made me strong and didn’t want to stop just yet,

Stay strong is the only choice you have. Just keep moving instead of crying. – agusttitin, 2013

When “the storm” has gone, I tried to pull myself back on the track and catch up on college stuffs. But, do you know how it feels to hold back, to store up your tears and fears, to always tell people that you’re okay in fact you’re not, to always tell yourself to keep moving on and don’t give up just yet, to try to keep enjoying every moments of your life no matter how hard it is, and to hide your sadness behind your smiles, to pile up everything for ±10 months? Ha! I, even, have been on the phase of withdrawal to society, to college, to my best friends, to my hobbies! (only for a month or so). You know what that means.*smirk*

But don’t worry. Pain heals and it gets better, and YOU will be better. ;)

So, I spent a half of the beginning of the year to struggle for the sake of my family and keep my name on the presence list stays on my class. And I did it! I could get through it and it was amazing and was the first biggest achievement on 2014; that I could handle myself and keep the whole thing running as it should be.

The withdrawal moment was very crucial for my life, that I start questioning about the major I took, medicine. For those who don’t know, I didn’t want to be a doctor. I wanted to be an ambassador of Indonesia *lol*. In short, the times that I spent alone that month made me realize that I’ve no other choice beside being a doctor. In fact, I was in the end of the third year of medschool, duh. So, I started to love medschool on my 3rd year of being a medstud. Too late, I know. But ‘there’s no such thing as too late in life‘, right? *grin*

And that was the second biggest achievement of my life; that I could finally enjoy being a medical student. Why? Because I finally love what I do for routine, and that pretty much affects on so many things.

**

All these hard days of the year (2013-2014) would not ended this good if there’s no love in it. The love from Allah that gave me strength to keep moving on. The love from my father and mother that gave me reason to keep fighting. The love from my big family that gave me new hope and a brighter vision of life. The love from my best friends gave me confidence that I could get through it and keep my chin up. The love from those who love me gave me the spirit to live my life.

friends are like blood, you dont get to see them often, but they come out when there’s a wound.

I thanked Allah that I had the opportunity to feel the blessing and the love. I thanked Allah for sending me those great people to be by my side, to encourage me to be better. And if I could say, I’ve got enough. I hope this 2015 will be so much better and people whom I love stay healthy and stay with me, and so many achievements to get in a year ahead.

my everything

To all: thank you for letting me know that I’m loved. Thank you for letting me feel the love. And thank you for teaching me how to love better.

Can’t wait to see the upcoming achievements in 2015! *cheers*

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