Done Compre, DONE!

Ujian yang ditunggu-tunggu semua mahasiswa kedokteran tingkat akhir (untuk segera selesai) adalah OSCE COMPRE (Objective Structured Clinical Examination Comprehensive) alias ujian keterampilan klinis dari tahun pertama sampai tahun ke-empat kuliah di kedokteran. Stase ujiannya mungkin cuma sedikit, cuma 8. Tapi teorinya… bbbbee uh.

Jadi, di kedokteran ada ujian keterampilan klinis yang diselenggarakan oleh Skills Laboratory. Di lab itu kita dilatih untuk menjadi dokter yang baik dan benar dan yang lege artis (dicari sendiri ya artinya :p). Ujiannya bukan tertulis, melainkan praktek. Ada sih nulisnya….. nulis resep sama rekam medis .___.

Yang dinilai adalah keterampilan komunikasi (dengan pasien simulasi aka probandus) sampai ke keterampilan melakukan tindakan (dengan manekin). Ada beberapa stase yang diujikan setiap tahunnya, di akhir semester genap dan biasanya ngambil waktu liburan semester. That’s why setiap lebaran pasti saudara-saudara heran kalau saya kemana-mana nenteng buku catetan atau buku materi OSCE, atau setiap diajakin liburan pasti ngga bisa. yakarenaadaosceinihuftness.

Ujiannya kaya acara TV “Akhirnya Datang Juga”. Masuk ruang ujian, dikasih waktu (antara 5-20 menit, tergantung stasenya), membaca skenario singkat, aaaaand action! Pura-pura jadi dokter di klinik dan mulai beracting. Berusaha mendiagnosis keluhan pasien simulasi (yang diperankan oleh staff), melakukan pemeriksaan, memberi terapi. Atau stase bedah minor, disuruh operasi mengangkat kutil, atau lipoma. Etc, etc, etc.

OSCE COMPRE ini penentu kloter koass/dokter muda (kalau di UGM sih, denger-denger di UNAIR ngga kaya gini sistemnya). Kalau lulus semua stase bisa masuk koas gelombang satu. Nah, biasanya temen-temen paniknya karena udah ada target mau koas gelombang satu (yang insya Allah akan dimulai bulan Maret 2015). Belajar setiap hari, mulai dari burung bernyanyi sampai udah digantikan jangkrik di malam hari. Mau pergi main, merasa bersalah. Ngga main kok ya pingin. Mau tidur siang, merasa waktu banyak kebuang. Ngga tidur siang kok ngga fokus belajarnya. Mau nulis blog, merasa berdosa. Ngga nulis blog, nanti ada yang kangen (eh?!). Ya gitu deh, ujian di tengah liburan, selalu merasa bersalah kalau melakukan hal selain belajar #hazeg.

TAPI UDAH KELAR DONG OSCE COMPRENYA, 22 JANUARI 2015, YEAY!*

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*masih nungguin pengumuman lulus atau ngga sih ._____.

Tapi rasanya udah lega dan plong aja gitu. Kaya habis makan permen Gofress, nafasnya plong kaya ngga ada saringannya. Selepas ujian rasanya kaya Syahrini yang tiduran di Sappada Mountain (I‘m feel free). Entah sehancur apapun waktu di ruang ujian, rasanya udah ngga ada beban aja. Toh kalau udah kelar ujiannya kita bisa apa selain doa, kan? Ya, semoga hari pengumuman OSCE COMPRE 2015 adalah hari yang indah dan membahagiakan, aamiin. :)

Semangat, PD2011!

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Dulu, saya adalah orang yang gengsian. Ngga mau ngomong atau nunjukin rasa sayang-rasa cinta ke orang lain, termasuk orang-orang terdekat dan sekitaran. Jatohnya jadi kelihatan judes, atos, keras.

Tapi, yang namanya manusia pasti berproses. Dan dalam proses itu saya memaknai arti cinta-kasih adalah lebih dari sekadar “yang penting aku sama Tuhan tau kalau aku sayang kamu.”

Setiap orang punya caranya sendiri dalam menunjukkan rasa sayangnya. Tapi, setelah sekian lama berproses, aku merasakan bahwa kehangatan, keromantisan, dan kelembutan adalah yang selalu bisa disebut kasih sayang.

Aku tahu di balik sikap dinginmu ada kehangatan di sana. Tapi, kalau sudah memilikinya kenapa memilih untuk menyembunyikannya?

Menunjukkan kehangatanmu tidak akan melukai siapapun. Dan dinginmu tidak akan memberi keuntungan apa-apa buatmu.
agusttitin, June 2014

Cinta-kasih adalah emosi, yang tak berwujud-tak tampak, namun kehadirannya dapat dirasakan. Jadi, kalau sesuatu yang bahkan tak berwujud-tak tampak tadi tidak disampaikan, apakah orang akan tau? Apakah yang bersangkutan dapat merasakan? :) 

“Cinta itu ibarat iman, yang mewujudkannya melalui membenarkan dengan hati, mengucapkan dengan lisan, dan mengamalkan dengan perbuatan.”

Sekarang, saya sudah berubah yang insya Allah ke arah kebaikan. Saya akan berusaha memastikan bahwa orang-orang yang saya sayangi merasakan dalam dan kuatnya rasa yang saya miliki untuk mereka. Dan ternyata menyebarkan cinta-kasih itu memberi kebahagiaan tersendiri bagi saya.

**

Knowing that you love someone is not enough for living in this world. It’s important to let your loved ones know that you love them, you do care about them, and you want to be with them and watch them safe and be happy. Let them feel the love you have for them. Let them know that their existence in this world mean something to your heart. It’s okay to tell them how grateful you are to have them by your side. It’s safe to give them a warm hug whenever they need it.

Do something small to your special one that can bring a big smile in his/her face. And a cupcake won’t hurt. ;)

Saturdate

A great way to start a good year is to go out on a date with someone you care about. And I spent my first Saturday of 2015 with Alenda. And he was a really nice companion!

We went to Il Mondo at noon, had a random conversation, told funny stories, spilled out our thoughts, and shared our dreams. We didn’t share our meal because he was obsessed with food. He would share anything with you but food. *sigh* We had a good time that we didn’t want to say goodbye just yet. Then, we decided to go to Malioboro to spend the rest of the day together, as a couple. *lol*

After we managed to break through the bottleneck of Yogyakarta, and paid 10k for parking, we decided to go to the mall first and bought burgers and french fries. And again, random conversation, talking about people around us, funny stories (of course), etc. Then we went to the stores, and got bored, then left the mall and decided to go to the 0 km.

On our way to 0 km, we watched an angklung street performance, which made me super happy! I really love those. I don’t know why, but every time I hear or watch them perform on the street it always makes me smile. Believe it or not when I am at my lowest point or just feeling sad, I go to Malioboro just to watch the angklung street performance. I have done that twice, and it always succeeded to make my day.

We passed street vendors, traditional snacks, angkringan, and the crowd. I don’t know why, but Yogyakarta at night is really something. It offers you the feeling of romance and warmth. With all of the horses, sellers in Javanese, scents of batik tulis, the street performances, the cars, the city lights, the clear sky, and luckily that night there was a full moon, it all became a harmony of beauty. Indeed, last Saturday night was really beautiful and I smiled all the way.

I saw a miniature of Tugu Golong Gilig of Yogyakarta when we were strolling idly. And I’m so going back there to get myself one of those! We didn’t have much time to stop and shop, and just wanted to walk and enjoy the street with all of its harmony. But we stopped to take a picture with an owl. And that became the highlight of the day! The night became more beautiful with each passing minute.

owil

We reached the intersection, and I asked Alenda to check whether Sekaten (Night Market) was still open or not. And it was still open! Then we went for Alun-Alun Utara. We didn’t plan to go to see Sekaten, actually. But we ended up there. When we were in the middle of the crowd, after we got there we decided to play Kora-kora.

We got in line for the nearest Kora-kora. But it was too long for us to wait, so we moved to another Kora-kora, which was not really crowded. In fact, we got onto one soon after we paid the tickets. Here are some pictures of us waiting for the seats to get fully loaded:

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There were some fireworks too! And look at our happy faces! But my happy face didn’t last longer. After the Kora-kora started and I felt my butt flying and I stopped smiling. It was so scary!

After we got off, we decided to take a little break and sat down at a stall (without buying anything). When I was finally able calm, we continued our walk. We bought a cotton candy for Marta who was waiting at his boarding house (p.s. he is my beloved little brother too. Sorry and thank you!) before we headed to the parking spot.

It was a really beautiful night. But that night wouldn’t have been that beautiful if I hadn’t spent it with Alenda.

For those who didn’t know he’s like my own little brother, I never had one. And I thanked Allah for giving me another opportunity to meet him once more. I love him so much like my own brother that I want to take care of. I want to see him smile.

Him with his typical laugh, obliviousness, being melancholy, insomnia, always telling funny stories, constant hunger, and obsession with food. Him who never stops praying for me to get the man that I deserve; the man that protects me at all costs.

With him I can feel that I’m needed and loved and worthy of being loved. I’m glad to know that my existence in this world means something to someone’s heart. And I’m thankful of the chance to get to know him better and to be closer.

With this post, I wanted to let him know that he’s loved, that he means something to my heart and maybe to your heart too. And this post is a reminder to myself to take care of him, to always make time for him, to always be there for him whenever he needs me.

Thank you so much, Alenda. It was a really beautiful Saturday night and I look forward to another brunch or night walk again with you! ;)

Purnama, Yogyakarta, dan Alenda. Alhamdulillah.. :)

Hello, 2015!

New Year, New Hope, New Chances!Screenshot_2015-01-01-20-07-54-1

People are hoping on something good or even better in the beginning of the year. They pray for changes, brighter year, lucks, and bigger achievements on the year ahead. Speaking of achievements, I wanted to share two of my biggest achievements of the year. Since people have their own goals and vision and idealism and way of life, maybe these achievements below are not a big deal for you, but they’re pretty much special for me. Well..

**

Two thousand and fourteen had been a very tough year and full of struggle and tears, and so many dramas, yet it was full of love. And yes, love is the highlight of the year. Not that I’m in love or found a new boyfriend that year, but love in general; love to the God, to best friends and family and things.

I was celebrating New Year’s Eve of 2014 in the hospital with my father, while studying for block 3.3 final examination. To be honest, in the beginning of the 2014, I didn’t pray anything  but my father’s health and mother’s patience and my strength. Because the end of 2013 until the beginning of 2014 was the hardest part of my life, that my father got cancer.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. – anonymous.

In the middle of “the storm”, I was so tired and started to questioning why. But then I got tired even more.

I keep asking why. But the answer is to accept and to enjoy every moment. Life is unfair, but God is. – agusttitin, 2013

And I got this really great and deep quote from my cousin,

Everything will be just fine, the most important thing is how to dance in the storm. – Mita, 2013

And that what makes me keep moving on. There were some moments that I really wanted to cry, but this kind of midset made me strong and didn’t want to stop just yet,

Stay strong is the only choice you have. Just keep moving instead of crying. – agusttitin, 2013

When “the storm” has gone, I tried to pull myself back on the track and catch up on college stuffs. But, do you know how it feels to hold back, to store up your tears and fears, to always tell people that you’re okay in fact you’re not, to always tell yourself to keep moving on and don’t give up just yet, to try to keep enjoying every moments of your life no matter how hard it is, and to hide your sadness behind your smiles, to pile up everything for ±10 months? Ha! I, even, have been on the phase of withdrawal to society, to college, to my best friends, to my hobbies! (only for a month or so). You know what that means.*smirk*

But don’t worry. Pain heals and it gets better, and YOU will be better. ;)

So, I spent a half of the beginning of the year to struggle for the sake of my family and keep my name on the presence list stays on my class. And I did it! I could get through it and it was amazing and was the first biggest achievement on 2014; that I could handle myself and keep the whole thing running as it should be.

The withdrawal moment was very crucial for my life, that I start questioning about the major I took, medicine. For those who don’t know, I didn’t want to be a doctor. I wanted to be an ambassador of Indonesia *lol*. In short, the times that I spent alone that month made me realize that I’ve no other choice beside being a doctor. In fact, I was in the end of the third year of medschool, duh. So, I started to love medschool on my 3rd year of being a medstud. Too late, I know. But ‘there’s no such thing as too late in life‘, right? *grin*

And that was the second biggest achievement of my life; that I could finally enjoy being a medical student. Why? Because I finally love what I do for routine, and that pretty much affects on so many things.

**

All these hard days of the year (2013-2014) would not ended this good if there’s no love in it. The love from Allah that gave me strength to keep moving on. The love from my father and mother that gave me reason to keep fighting. The love from my big family that gave me new hope and a brighter vision of life. The love from my best friends gave me confidence that I could get through it and keep my chin up. The love from those who love me gave me the spirit to live my life.

friends are like blood, you dont get to see them often, but they come out when there’s a wound.

I thanked Allah that I had the opportunity to feel the blessing and the love. I thanked Allah for sending me those great people to be by my side, to encourage me to be better. And if I could say, I’ve got enough. I hope this 2015 will be so much better and people whom I love stay healthy and stay with me, and so many achievements to get in a year ahead.

my everything

To all: thank you for letting me know that I’m loved. Thank you for letting me feel the love. And thank you for teaching me how to love better.

Can’t wait to see the upcoming achievements in 2015! *cheers*

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